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Doubt (2008)
IMDB rating: 7.90
Plot: Set at a Catholic school in the Bronx, it centers on a nun who grows suspicious when a priest begins taking too much interest in the life of a young black student. Is she being overly protective or not protective enough? And can she work within the system to discover the truth?
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i find here Doubt
Directors: Shanley John Patrick
Actors: Hoffman Philip Seymour,Brown Lloyd Clay,Foster Joseph,Roukis Michael,Roukis Mike,Litt Paulie,Marvin Matthew,Lewis Evan,Albanese Dennis,Cox Timothy J.,Drama,Mystery,
My engaged Daughter is still in love with her ex?
My daughter (24) is currently engaged to a man (26). They have only known each other about a year. All throughout high school and college she was dating the boy who lived right next door to us. After college he was offered to spend a year abroad in London and took it. However, due to his leaving he and my daughter ended their relationship.
She then began to date again and a little less than a year ago she met this guy that she is now enaged to. I have no doubt that she cares deeply for her fiance. Her ex-boyfriend, the boy next door has since returned from London and he is active in the wedding party because my husband and I are best friends with his parents, our neighbors.
Even though my daughter claims to be over her ex-boyfriend I still see the love in their eyes whenever they are together and I see how un-comfortable he is when we speak of the wedding. My daughter was deeply hurt when he left for London but I know that deep down she is still hopelessly in love with this boy but the both of them are just too stubborn to admit it. Even his parents think so as well.
It’s not as though I hate my daughter’s fiance I just don’t want him to become a pawn in a love triangle. I know my daugher is now an adult and I cannot control who she marries and the decisions she makes. I just feel as though she is being foolish here. My husband feels the same away as I do. But we don’t want to be meddling and nost parents. What should I do?
You sound like a good mom!
But I don’t think it’s "meddling" if you simply sit down with your daughter and talk about this. That’s what moms are for. You’d remind her that you’ll of course support her regardless of anything else, you’d reinforce how much you like her fiance….and then just tell her what you’ve noticed and how this concerns you. Be careful not to speak on behalf of the London guy, or even make assumptions that he would want to resume the relationship if she did - that’s risky. Just tell her what you’ve observed and make it clear that you’ll understand if she needs to take a step back or re-think her plans.
Messykatt | Feb 04, 2010
In this case, you should have a talk with her but ensure her you aren’t trying to change her mind, but to assure her that you want her to make the best possible decision. Also, point out a few things to her that will show her what you and your husband see in this situation and hope that it will make her think about the plans she has already made. Instill in her that it is most important that she is honest with herself before anyone else.
sherry c | Feb 04, 2010
Ok well, i am 18 and well.. I think that you, as a parent should speak to your daughter. Tell her wat you see and wat you think but remind her that it is her choice.But she does need to get it out of her system that people do see her love for her ex. She needs to either move on or cancel her engagment and get back with her ex. You do need to however speak to her and if possible you need to ask the ex’s parents to talk to him too.. If they are really in love still they need to move fast before she ruins it.
minnie | Feb 04, 2010
You can point out all the cracks in a sidewalk, somehow we all trip over them at one time or another. Trying to steer he ship of life isn’t going to help. When the divorce happens, just make sure to be there for her.
sassycattoys.com | Feb 04, 2010
You sounds like a mom that is too involved in her daughter’s life. If she says it is over, accept it and go on. Or… maybe you do just love the drama of it all.
alexis88883 | Feb 04, 2010
I think u sound like a good mom!
Even a good friend asks someone that kind of question. If she were to get mad or nasty or upset about talking to her like that, she would obviously be torn herslf but not wanting to admit it.
Maybe she is really stuggling with this already and wishes she had someone to talk to but doesnt want u to be dispointed or upset with her for being unsure, exspecially if you are contributing financially.
Just casually bring it up when you guys are alone and gently bring up the subject. Dont outright say, "Your father and I feel that.." That makes it sound like you were talking about her life behind her back. Even if you were, it might make her feel like you werent treating her like and adult or something. Just poke around a bit and let her do the talking. Ask her if she is uncomfortable or feels odd about her old bf being involved and how does it make her feel..ect
It is not meddling if you are simply concerned with her happiness. and approach it in the right way.
If she is concrete with her decision and happy with it, great for her. if not talk more freely with her. It is hard for us daughters to think of our moms as women who once were faced with tough decisions regard men. And it is hard for some moms to talk to their daughters as grown women.
But kudos for you for being concerned about every ones happiness involved.
Kate S | Feb 04, 2010
You sit down with her once and have a serious heart to heart. Then you don’t bring it up again, even if she comes to you in tears 5 years from now, you don’t say I told you so.
For now, sit her down and talk. First tell her that you’re happy for her. Tell her you like her fiance a great deal, and think he’d be a good husband. Then ask her if she could wave a magic wand and change things, would she? If she starts talking, start listening. If not, follow up with something like: it seems like there are still feelings between you and your ex. Are you ready to move forward? If not, maybe you should take some time. Maybe you should talk to him. Am I way off base here? and see what she says.
Tell her it’s better to postpone or cancel a wedding you’re uncertain of than to go ahead because of what people expect. No one really expects anything anymore, I mean life is so crazy now, so she should take her time and be certain of her feelings.
Regardless of what she says, at the end, tell her you’re not going to talk to people (other than your husband) about this, and that if she ever wants to talk about it, even the day of the wedding! she can come talk to you. You’re here for her.
And then you don’t bring it up again. If she insists on doing it, and it’s a mistake, it’s her mistake and there’s nothing more for you to do. Hopefully all it is, is the general awkwardness of becoming reacquainted with an old flame.
juvegirl, B2B 2010 | Feb 04, 2010
Well, it’s good to see that you are such a caring mom. However, you need to let your daughter go down her own path. Part of me thinks it may be wishful thinking as your family is close with the ex.
Kayleigh | Feb 04, 2010
let me just start off by saying that i don’t think you are "meddling" in her life..
i am 24 as well so i know where your daughter is coming from.. i also can see where you are coming from.. you and your husband just want what is best for your daughter and there is nothing wrong with that.. she is lucky to have a mother and father who care so much!.. so if you feel as if she is marrying the wrong person, i would definitely sit her down and say something to her..
if her ex went to london for a year and they decided to "end their relationship", then i would assume it was on good terms?.. it’s not like they were fighting all the time and had a bad break-up..
i personally think she should take time to think things through b/c her fiance will wind up being hurt in the end, if she is still in love with her ex.. your daughter will be hurt too.. i’m sure she’s a nice person, who is just a little confused over all of this (since you said she’s stubborn to admit her feelings).. but if your family and his family both are seeing the "look in their eyes", then that’s what you have to go by.. that’s the truth right there.. actions speak louder than words, so even if she won’t come out and say she loves him, everyone else knows she does..
it’s a tough call, but you have to do what you feel is right and i think that would be to tell her how you feel.. most likely, she is feeling the same way!.. just remember, "mothers always know best" and they can see things coming way before the kids can!.. i could never thank my parents enough for being nosy and telling me the truth about things that i couldn’t see b/c i was "blinded by love" (or thought i was)..
best of luck to you and your husband.. i hope your daughter has the wedding of her dreams with the love of her life..
p.s.- if you decide to talk to her, try your best not to hold what she says against her.. i’ve made that mistake plenty of times with my mom, but i thanked her in the end when i found out the truth.. your daughter will too!
SteelersRNumberOne | Feb 04, 2010
xxx
Good luck, and hang in there.
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